The Unwritten Rules

Alas, someone (G. Cross), has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally, "The Guy's Side of the Story."

I must admit, this is pretty good.
     We have always heard the "Rules" as laid down from the Female's side; now here are the "Rules" from the Male's side.
     These are the Rules females ignore.
Please note, these are all Numbered as #1; on purpose.

#1: Men are not Mind-readers.

#1: Learn to work the toilet seat; you're a big girl now. If it is up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complain about you leaving it DOWN.

#1: Crying is Blackmail.

#1: Ask for what you want; let us be clear on one thing.

• Subtle hints don't work
• Strong hints don't work
• Obvious hints don't work
• Just say what you want.

#1: YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

#1: Come to us with a problem, only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

#1: Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument; in fact all comments become "Null & Void" after 7 days.

#1: If you think you're fat, you probably are; don't ask us.

#1: If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of those ways makes you sad or angry; we meant the other way.

#10: You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know the best way, how to do it; just do it yourself.

#1: Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

#1: Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

#1: All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows Default Settings; Peach for example is a fruit not a colour; Pumpkin is also a fruit; we have no idea what Mauve is.

#1: If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

#1: If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

#1: When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine; really.

#1: Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sports; ie: Football or subjects like Motor sports.

#1: You have enough Clothes!

#1: You have enough Shoes!

#1: I'm in shape; "Round" is a shape.

#1:Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that; it's like camping...

Pass this to as many Men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to twice as many Women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh, because it's True.

© copyright R Anthony H. Rock